taylor/bad forward with a bad attitude.
dont ask me abt scars if we aren’t friends if we dont know each other esp if i dont know you and you know for a fact! i dont like you
i think my sweet sixteen was okay. it was nice. just a lot of smiling and my friends and family and nothing special. it wasn’t a big extravagant party where i got a car and had a hundred million guests or a quince with a big dress and lots of dancing, like i had thought about when i was little, but thats fine. it was more of a normal day. i don’t really make a big deal out of birthdays because they make me kind of nervous, i’m so shy and i dont like a whole lot of attention. i kind of feel sad now because im pretty old, im growing up and i’m going to have to be an adult relatively soon and get it together and live like a human being. that makes me unsettled and i kind of want to cry but i can’t cry on my birthday. i’m okay. i’m happy. i think the important thing to realize is that i’m still alive, i’m not recently in much of a mood to try to kill myself, i don’t hurt myself as often and i drink or get high more for fun than to try to drown out the white noise in my head or get some kind of funky happiness out of it. i have a family that loves me, a good set of friends, things to live for and to look forward to, health, and a solid amount of joy in my life. i’m very blessed and i just think i’ll have to grow into being sixteen - i think i’ll have a big party and be a princess when i’m a little better, a little happier, a little stronger, and a little braver. i just have to remember that i’m getting there.